Well, we are away!
In fact we have been for 6 days already – and it is only now that I have managed to get pen to paper (or finger to keyboard?). I feel bad about this, mainly because it is that self-defeating perfectionist streak I have made mention of that is particularly responsible. Nevermind – I shall add it to the list of things to face and conquer! Beginning now actually – witness my attempt at putting our thoughts, feeling, experiences out there without the several editing sessions and satisfying approval that follows – here we go……
So there are many things I want to cover but i’m not necessarily sure how or where to start. Let’s make it chronological then.
I wanted to make mention of the lead up to heading off on our travels (in fact I wanted to devote a whole post to it, but the moment it seems has past). What I will say is that it was much more tumultuous, emotionally, than I was prepared for. Of course I knew that it would be hard trying to prepare to live out of a car or backpack with my family for the next year or so, but I guess I didn’t realise just how much so. Particularly when combined with a long to-do list, hectic schedule of goodbye’s and all the emotions that come from that constant parting and bidding farewell. I found it hard enough to navigate my own emotional waters, let alone trying to do it for, or with, my daughter and husband.
As we took some time out to try and recalibrate, by climbing with friends, I realised it was a perfect analogy for how I was feeling, (apologies in advance for those who haven’t climbed sharp, pointy, round or tall bits of rock or wall – but I haven’t done heaps of it myself, so I think you’ll get it….). I was feeling like I often do when I climb – scared, pretty much. I was grasping for safety and comfort – unwilling to let go, trust my feet and move on. Sometimes when I feel like that out climbing I give up, sometimes I decide I have done enough and sometimes I push through. (incidentally, the practice and reward of pushing through fear is one of the things that keeps me climbing).
Somehow though, we found our way through and onto the road – I suspect it was the result of my family and everyone else who helped with their time, support. love, farewells, excitement, enthusiasm and well wishes! – so thank you very much!
I’m going to cheat a little now and keep this post short. That’s a legitimate tool in combatting perfectionism and control – right? Let’s run with it, and I’ll talk more about all the stuff we have experienced already (gee whiz!) soon.
Can’t wait to tell you all about it!
Nice first post Em. Very human and very real. Go well…
Thanks for the encouragement Toby and we will.